I was taking a child development course and somehow we got onto this discussion about how kids will want to hug you and touch your hair. A classmate who was a white woman returning to school, started talking about when she started teaching at a school where the students were all Black. She said that when the kids warmed up to her, they were touching her hair. Then she said that she understood their curiosity because she had always wanted to touch a Black person's hair. I happened to be sitting right next to her when she told this story. At that moment I locked eyes with a Black classmate. But it really wasn't a big deal, she wasn't being offensive. But that statement says a lot. I had a white coworker who reached out and touch my hair one night at work. He was like, "That feels awesome." Apparently he had been wanting to touch my hair for a while. I wasn't offended but it made me think: what is it about my hair that makes people want to touch it? I have joined a social group called "Curlfriends" and it a group for women who are natural. This means that we wear our hair in it's natural state. No chemical straighteners. We have many discussions and we talk about how people always want to touch our hair. Now most Black people know that you never just run up and touch a Black woman's hair. You just don't do it. It's natural to be curious about something that is different, but people need to be mindful of how they act out that curiosity and how they are treating other people. I'm not a petting zoo or a sideshow attraction. If you ask to touch my hair, I can work with that. At least I know what you are doing. You can't just run up to me and put your hands on me. How do I know you aren't trying to attack me? Even if we know each other, I need you to please respect my space. But never put your hands on a total stranger. You might end up getting slapped, I'm just keeping it real. But the next time somebody touches my hair like that I'm going to turn around and touch their hair the same way.
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